Dating several men

It turns out, the secret to finding love and commitment is not committing too soon.So many of my clients ask me whether dating more than one man at a time is a wise idea.They’re all in the notes section of my phone: the 26-year-old graphic designer from Baltimore. A couple of actor/bartenders who live within a five-mile radius of my place in Central Los Angeles.The 37-year-old who works at an ad agency, has a sweet pit bull, and an enviable vinyl collection — but is so obviously not over his ex-fiancée.

Nina, a 25-year-old accountant living in Chicago, started hers after a four-year relationship ended. And, Monica*, a 25-year-old producer in New York City, can also echo the experience.Making a decision about a guy is no different than any other decision.You weigh your pros and cons, you do your cost-benefit analysis, you use a little logic and a little emotion, and then make a largely arbitrary choice without knowing if you’re right.I was never good at dating more than one man at time.When a man showed a genuine interest in me, I would stop dating other men for one BIG reason: I lacked confidence to juggle several men at once because I doubted my self-worth.I was afraid if a guy found out that I was dating someone else, he would drop me.


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